Happy

I was standing in line at one of my favorite coffee houses, a place with wood everywhere and antiques for sale, and I was thinking, I want a...

Hair

****news flash **** Got the second drain removed. I am now a drain-free woman. It is so nice not to have the bulgey bulb sticking out of my ...

Contest Winner!

The winner of the contest is the first Anonymous. Could Anonymous please let me know how to get in touch with him/her? Thank you to the othe...

The Cancer Card

Today I used the cancer card. It was the second time. The first was when a telemarketer called in the morning (!) and I said, I'm going ...

The Prestidigitator

We read in our languishing weekly (it has to be languishing because I haven't published there recently and because this here blog has be...

Bad News, East & West

Our good friend S, who is married to L's cousin, just found out today that she has breast cancer. So she will be starting the MRI-chemo ...

A Contest!

I guess you'd think a person with cancer wouldn't be worried about being a hypochrondriac, but I was today. Worried. First of all I ...

What is a Meltdown?

It might be when you're feeling very very shatterable and don't want to answer "fine" when people ask you how you are and ...

The Mysteries

The pathology report is full of mysteries, and the surgeon says, Do you have any questions, secretly hoping that you don't. O please ple...

When a Double Negative is a Positive

The nurse at the Breast Center called me yesterday at 4:55pm to check to see if anyone had gotten back to me after my SATURDAY call about th...

Telling--Part 2

Saturday I went to The Little Cafe Down the Street for the first time since losing my breast. The film-student barrista said, Do you have a ...

Pictures of torture victims?

I wrote in the last post that maybe my bruised and wrinkled and rankled left chest looks familiar because of pictures I've seen of tortu...

The Angel

I read Cancer Vixen , and it is in color and hardbound, and the author is alive, and none of the people look like real people, just outlines...

Wet Spot

I woke up way way too early this morning with a wet spot around my underarm. After investigation, I found that I was leaking at the incision...

Looking At It

I looked at the incision. To do that I rolled down the camisole and the Ace bandage. There is still some curve to my breast. How much is swe...

Drain Bulbs

At the hospital, I thought it would be impossible to learn to "strip" the drains and empty the bulbs. This is what the contraption...

I Have Returned

I am home, we had a good dinner (a millions times more nutritious than anything the hospital served), I'm not in much pain, I feel a lit...

Stiff Upper Lip

Is your stomach churning? R asked. She'd called to see how I was doing the day before getting my breast cut off due to a disease that co...

The Bad Girls of Cancer

Tonight was my last yoga class with two real breasts. I thought about it as we lay face down on the floor to do our leg stretches. We did a ...

A Day in Which I Buy a Mastectomy Camisole & Fail to Sway an Alderman; plus Strangers on a Train

The nurse at Fancy Hospital had e-mailed me, asking if I wanted a mastectomy camisole. I looked it up on line and it seemed like a good thin...

A Nervous Laugher

I have become a nervous laugher. I told N that she should meet with my student intern, that I would normally want a three-way meeting, but I...

The Willy Loman of Female Diseases

(Warning: This section, especially the end, is not for the faint of heart. If that's you, I suggest skipping this and going to For Bette...

Lesser of Two Evils

Tonight I walked to the Lesser of Two Evils chain bookstore and went wild in a Cancer-Bitchy way. I had a $50 gift card as part of payment/t...

A Filling Without a Sandwich

I am a member of the Sandwich Generation--Baby Boomers (mostly women) who are caught between taking care of cranky teenagers and creaky pare...

Thanks, Britney

In solidarity with Cancer Bitch, pop star Britney Spears has shaved her head. She's also gotten a few tattoos. This after going in then ...

Gotta Date

Gotta date. Finally. To the prom. The total mastectomy prom. My date is Wednesday, Feb. 28, at 4pm at Fancy Hospital. A total mastectomy is ...

The Other Hand

A new study shows that men with vasectomies (such as L) are more likely to suffer from a certain kind of dementia where you can still garden...

In the Office of the Plastic Surgeon to the Stars/Following the Lump

Yesterday I went to see the Plastic Surgeon to the Stars. The office was near downtown in an old building with seemingly endless arcades in ...

Lump in the Throat/Hail to Tricky Dickie/Marbles in a Barn

Today I had a lump in my throat most of the day. That is what I call anxiety. That is what I felt throughout high school and college and aft...

Confusion sets in

We went to Plainer Hospital today, formerly known in this blog as Pretty Good. Plainer just seems more apt. We waited more than two hours in...